Comin' round the bend--
Movin' on again,
Coffee hands--greyhound port of call,
Destination--another early fall--
Building to the west--
an early morning guest--
Duffle bag--air brakes pressin' down,
Another lonely town...
Rollin' with these strangers,
If I could only cry,
I'd take those clouds and shake em' loose
Cover up the sky,
I'd find a cloud to call my own,
Watch the world go by,
Then I'd clip these dirty wings of mine,
And ride the rain down,
And ride the rain down.
Open up the door,
Tip your hat,
Walk across the floor,
Bacon smell--cafes are your home,
Sit in there, pretend you're not alone.
I originally wrote this song for the short film we did five years ago, 'Raindance'. Has it really been five years? The song has changed a lot since coming to Austin. Austin is the singer/songwriter capitol of the country. Its both inspiring and daunting to write songs and re-write songs here, but you can feel the songs moving across the city. These next two weeks, one of my goals is going out to play one of the 'open mike nights', and also send out letters to potential places to actually play a gig or two. I have plenty of songs, getting them some place is another story. I'm trusting in the universe to help with this matter, with a big dose of action and hustle. The trick is not to waver and be tossed to and fro by the waves of the sea. We are defined by the actions we take, we are shackled by our fear. We are called upon by courage, we are frozen by our need. There are days when I wonder whether I am being courageous or foolish, but then something happens that would not have happened unless I would have taken action. My actions have taken me into unchartered water, let's just hope it's not the Bermuda Triangle, (kidding, sort of).
These next two weeks will be a real test of the trip here. I have to find what I am looking for, or at least the next step. I have found part of what I was looking for, as not to bore you with the details, suffice to say that some of the most well known artists here in Austin are clean and sober. This is a huge key for me. The days and nights of the romantic, whiskey drinkin', cocaine snortin', fast drivin' nomads are over. It only worked when we did not know the destruction it would cause. It only worked until the destruction began to collapse in upon itself. It only worked within the confines of fantasy walls and tired romanticism. It only worked to make us feel something other than ourselves. It only worked to falsely feed our need to love and be loved. The only way to be competitive in this town is sober. In that I have found a great group of people.
Before tomorrow, and the two week period where people are lost after the holidays, I will spend a carefree Sunday. Although it is cloudy, the dog park is calling, and my little dog is restless. She lays by the door and looks at me dead in the eye, its strange having such intense communication with a dog, but also somehow comforting. When she is mad at me, she turns her head and sighs, but its always short lived. Dogs know something about forgiveness, and they do it quickly without holding on to resentment.
Although I've had a few sugar hangovers the last several days, (to many sweets), I'm alert, ready for the city to open up to me, and ready to follow all my leads for the next two weeks. Pray for the sychronicity that is there for all of us if we are paying attention. Pray for peace. Pray for the love you might have lost somehow along that lonely road...